Last week you couldn’t find a new entry from me here, which was mainly because I didn’t really know how to put my thoughts into words. That’s why I just followed up on my long-held idea of running my blog in English as well.
I had actually achieved a lot the week before last week, and that was writing the complete short story on the topic of „contact“. And even though I felt almost euphoric about the end, I kind of fell into a hole afterwards. Do you know that? You did something the way you set out to do it —the scope and timeline were met—but after you’ve done your work, you’re almost deadly unhappy. That’s what I felt when I handed in my bachelor’s and master’s thesis. Although, I just wanted to get rid of my thesis to put an end to this sadistic, masochistic endeavour.
With my stories it is of course different. It feels more like separation pain, because you don’t deal with your characters anymore. To develop them, to breathe life into them, to allow them to experience things, all this is utterly personal and intimate. Admittedly, a main character in an eight-page short story is not written in as much detail as the one of a book-length story. Nevertheless, one experiences that short story together with him.
The last few days I tried to continue writing my prose text of 9,000 characters. However, somehow nothing is happening. I simply can’t think of a jubilee to which the old nagger could possibly be invited, come hell or high water. It’s enough to drive me up the wall since I’ve come quite a long way actually. On the subject of contact, writing was so easy and I wonder what the problem is now with the anniversary. While my short story on the subject of „contact“ is only bristled with humour in one or two places and I have brought the atmosphere more into focus, the prose text is supposed to indulge in the more subtle humor. Perhaps that is where the difficulty lies. The skilful use of humor is a fine line. As too much of it makes the whole thing slapstick and too intentional. That is why I find it so difficult to determine the occasion for the anniversary. It should be a little more outstanding, however it shouldn’t be absurd either. I constantly have the tea party at the crazy hatmaker’s from Alice in Wonderland in my mind. Although I’ve loved this story since I was a kid, I never really liked this particular scene because it’s reminiscent of a fever dream. Everything is so absurd, nothing is tangible. This is not how my anniversary celebration is supposed to be.
Well, after all, my main character is already at the point when he wants to leave the house to go to the celebration. I stop whining now and send him on a jolly good jamboree.